My printer is a man of many words.

I bought a HP multi-functional printer. It’s surprisingly affordable. Although I’m aware that the ink cartridges are the real money-stealer, my local printing shop is not cheap either.

Cartridges in, driver installed, and the printer is ready to go. It let me know by passionately printing out a very colourful welcome note, inviting me to print something for a test run. Oh do you want to use the Wi-Fi connection? How about printing out a manual for that? (Yes that’s the only way to set it up for Wi-Fi, by printing out a manual with password, not reading it on screen.)

It also printed a test page to scan itself. Thus the printer will correct itself if there’s any imperfection with the nozzle. Genius.

So, the first day using my printer, I already have a handful of waste paper.

The printer is very reasonably priced, so it’s only equipped with a small screen. Any further communication with me will be done by it automatically printing on paper.

The printer uses 3-in-1 colour cartridge. That’s red, blue, and yellow colour. Using up any one of the colours means the cartridge is dead. That’s why I like to keep my colour scheme balanced.

But not my printer. EVERY TIME it has anything to say, it prints a big blue HP logo first. ‘Hey, Xiaoming, great news. I just updated my software!’

I sincerely don’t care.

My printer also has its own email. Wherever I am, I can always send it my document to print at home. The manual says that I always need to fill in the title and content when emailing the printer. Don’t know why, I’d guess it’s something with respect.

So I sent the email, respectfully, with my document to print. When I got home, the document was perfectly printed, together with my email, on another piece of paper.

Dear printer,

Please print the attached document.

All the best.

Xiaoming

This is actually my third printer. HP printer is my absolute favourite. It has many useful functions. It’s easy to set up. Its user manual is understandable. And it has great Wi-Fi connection. It really beats other brands in many ways (I’m looking at you Canon).

But can HP be more responsible for the environment and stop systematically wasting precious ink and paper (and save me some money)? There’s always a better way for human-printer communication. Hit me up on Message?